|
If bigger is better, this is personal transportation at its best. Just a few years ago, most image-conscious mortals would shudder at the thought of piloting a ponderous, ungainly, embarrassing Ford Country Squire or Chevrolet Caprice wagon. Yet stretch those cars out a few inches more, make them taller and boxier, and stick truck parts underneath, and suddenly, the result is a status symbol? Strange but true. The results would be the two monstrosities at hand.
Like the Ford Excursion, people sometimes reach 80 inches in stature. But even among the hardcore iron-pumping crowd, can any claim to achieve 7,000 pounds? In terms of sheer mass, the Excursion is unmatched. If the Ford Excursion were human, its line would be "six-foot-eight, three-and-a-half-tons, all man."
And if it were man, it would be getting all the ladies. The Excursion has been successful enough since its debut at the mark of the millennium that Ford retracted its plan to end production. You may remember that two years ago, those Sierra Club wackos speculated that the impact of thousands of 10 MPG vehicles wouldn't be the greatest gift to the environment or our economy. Ford announced that 2004 would be the Excursion's final year, but here we are in August of that very year, and already a 2005 model is on sale. Oh well.
But promises are meant to be broken. After all, this SUV took almost no design effort and net profit promised to be fifteen thousand big ones on each unit sold. The sound of KA-CHING! has a mysterious influence.
On the consumer side, value is a subjective term, and numbers like $37,810 (Excursion's starting point) and $51,065 (high point) are nothing if not consistent with this SUV's other numbers. At 227 inches in length and 80 in width, the Excursion costs $25 to $34 per square foot. As long as bigger remains better and the Excursion's bulk keeps rising with its price, plenty will pay the admission.
That figure of $37,810 is the starting point for the lowest Excursion, the XLS, on which front and rear air conditioning, AM/FM/cassette/CD, power everything, keyless entry, and a Class IV trailer hitch are all standard. The XLS "Limo," true to its name, wraps all passengers in leather, electrifies the front seat controls, adds rear radio controls, rear obstacle detection, automatic headlights, mirror-mounted turn signals, fog lights, and a limited-slip differential. XLT builds on XLS with some of the above: power front seats, rear radio controls, auto headlights. The Eddie Bauer edition adds the rear obstacle detection system (again), mirror-mounted turn signals (again), leather (again), automatic air conditioning, adjustable pedals, and a bunch of "Eddie Bauer" logos stitched into every possible surface. Finally, the high-end Limited adds heated front seats, memory for seat and pedal settings, steering wheel climate and radio controls, 6-disc CD changer, and a garage-door opener, for folks whose garages actually have 19 feet of length to spare.
All trim lines can be ordered with any engine: a 5.4-liter V8 (horsepower/torque: 255/350), a 6.8-liter V10 (310/425), or a 6.0-liter turbo-diesel V8 (325/560). These combinations come in either 2-or-4-wheel drive, except the XLT Limo (V10/2WD only) and the 5.4 V8-powered Eddie Bauer and Limited models (2WD only). Upgrading to 4WD costs $3,255, but more on models that entail an engine upgrade. As for engine upgrades, buying the extra 2 cylinders only costs $585. The diesel sets the checkbook back by $5,345, though it does throw an extra gear into the automatic.
For decent acceleration, you'll need the V10, which is the only engine that can drop the Excursion's 0-60 time under ten seconds. This option brings the same number for overall miles per gallon: just under ten. The good news is that the V10 allows the Ford Excursion to match the acceleration of a Ford Focus. The bad news is that the year-end petroleum tab comes to $910 for one of them, and $2,640 for the other. No prizes for guessing which is which.
Traditionalists can take a subtle step down to the Excursion's only competitor, the now-puny Chevrolet Suburban. Choosing a model is simpler, with only LS and LT trim lines on either the "half-ton" Suburban 1500 (by far the more popular version) or the "three-quarter-ton" Suburban 2500. LT trim adds such amenities as side mirrors with turn signals, 17-inch wheels (1500 models), adjustable pedals, steering wheel controls, automatic temperature control, power leather seats, better stereos, and a year of GM's OnStar service. Mechanically, 2500 models gain a 6.0 V8 (with an 8.1 optional) and the choice of 4-wheel steering to tighten this rig's turning circle. Maintaining its status as a status symbol, a 2WD Suburban 1500 starts at $38,700; a 4WD Suburban 2500 raises the starting point to $43,200.
While each opponent was new for 2000, the Suburban traces its roots to more down-to-earth origins: the light-duty Silverado pickup, as opposed to Ford's "Super Duty" F-350. Demonstrating the widespread benefits of good genes, the Suburban measures in at 7.2 inches shorter, 3 inches trimmer, and a few inches less tall than the Excursion. It also tips the scales with about 1,000 to 1,500 fewer pounds.
The engine lineup is leaner as well. All Suburban 1500s get a 5.3-liter V8 whose 295 horsepower is a league ahead of the 255 made by Ford's larger V8. Another step-up is in front suspensions, where the Suburban uses independent control arms while the Excursion clunks along on a solid front axle (4WD models) or Ford's decades-old "Twin I-Beam" design (2WD models).
The Excursion is the weightlifting champion, but only marginally: 1,630 instead of 1,610, according to published tests. But the blue-oval behemoth is the clear loser of the tug-of-war: a V8, 2WD Excursion can only tow 6,100 pounds, vs. a 2WD Suburban 1500's 8,400 pounds. Capacity varies among models, but the Excursion tops out at 11,000 pounds, only to get bested again by the Suburban 2500's 12,000.
But enough about payload and towing. Everyone knows the real-world purpose of these two: to transport 150 pounds of human flesh to Albertson's to retrieve a box of corn flakes - a task that even the 77-cubic-foot Suburban can handle. The Suburban's more advanced suspension, more competitive engine, and more maneuverable size might make a case for themselves in confined city surroundings.
The press is unanimous: the Suburban glides over the road in comparison to the constantly pounding Excursion. While the Excursion lumbers around with wooly mammoth clumsiness, the Suburban frolics around with elephant-like agility. This increases to a world of difference when comparing Suburbans equipped with optional 4-wheel steering, unavailable at Ford. Suburbans can also stop on a dime (153 feet) while Excursions need a dollar (166). And since the Suburban has 50 extra horsepower pulling around 1,500 fewer pounds, acceleration is no contest. That victory comes free, since the Suburban's overall gas mileage at least reaches the teens (13). And for any couple insane enough to have seven kids, the Suburban's eight-or-nine-passenger seating capacity (depending on model) mirrors the Excursion's.
So there you have it. Since the Suburban's 1935 debut, Ford had 65 long years to prepare for this battle, and the results are in. The world's original XL station wagon has its only challenger slaughtered in all the old-fashioned values that once mattered. It's quicker, faster, and more frugal all at once, thanks to a better engine. It brakes shorter, it turns better, its ride is less intrusive, it's ahead in the technology game, and it can even tow more.
But size. For sure, the Excursion's got it beat in size.
|
