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The Five Hundred feels like an oversized European car (why would it feel like anything else?). Of course "European" is a broad generalization and Volvo isn't in the same league as BMW, but the Five Hundred has a coordinated, got-it-together feel that Ford rarely bakes into its home-grown sedans. Having grown up with a Crown Vic in my own driveway, it surprised me to be driving a big Ford with steering that takes more than one finger to turn and doesn't totally ignore my hands. Not threatening to sit on its muffler on launches or scrape its chin on asphalt when braking - that's new too. The Five Hundred is in no danger of being fun, but it doesn't have that "riding a wooly mammoth through a steeplechase" feel either.
It actually holds the road quite well. If you drive a Five Hundred like you're supposed to, our car's 18-inch wheels and Pirelli tires will give more grip than you'll need. Lean isn't excessive considering the size of this thing, the brakes are firm, and I never found the turning circle getting in the way. Volvos aren't known for having the smoothest rides, but perhaps because of the extended 113-inch wheelbase, the Five Hundred positively sails along the road on the same front strut, rear multilink, dual stabilizer bar suspension. Noise levels, likewise, rank slightly better than average with road roar being the biggest culprit. The automatic has six gears (most in class) and it shifts between them smoothly, if frequently. Thanks to the wide ratio spread of the gears, the engine turns at a relaxed 2,000 RPM at 70 MPH, and a lot of other times it's loafing along at barely over a grand, which all means you'll never hear more of the engine or waste any more gas than necessary. I was annoyed by the lockout Ford put between Neutral and Drive, and some might not like the lack of a manual shift feature or even a "3" position on the selector.
Sooner or later we have to get to the engine, the one item in the Five Hundred that everyone loves to hate. This motor has been slammed enough times to make the word "underpowered" almost cliché. It's also not totally deserved. True, it's the exact same engine that's been in use since the 1996 Taurus and its 203 horsepower is 77 ponies shy of the Avalon's herd. But this is still a dual-cam, 24-valve, chain-driven, all-aluminum engine (when was the last time you saw one standard in a GM car?) and it doesn't sound like nails-on-a-chalkboard like some reviews imply. The Five Hundred is weakest among its big-guy peers, but it's at least as fast as all the 4-cylinder mid-size cars (Accord, Altima, Malibu) and I don't remember anyone calling them slow. Dare I say it, the Five Hundred's power is adequate. And are you honestly worried of gramps in that Buick LeSabre wanting to drag?
I'd feel better about all this defending if the Five Hundred were able to top 22 MPG. That's no better than the Avalon; did we give up all those horses for nothing? And if you were wondering about the redline, it's a shamefully low 5,800 RPM. Not that you'd know, since Ford made sure not to note this telling statistic on their website, the owner's manual, or even marking it on the tachometer.
As surely as the styling says "Mercedes Passat," the cabin is the obvious work of the blue oval. That brings mixed news. The controls are where you expect them, the displays are clear, and the steering wheel has that hemispherical thing going, but what of taste? Sticking a metallic-accent shifter and door handles in a sea of fake wood is the unnecessary mixing of two unnecessary ideas. The speedometer's red-and-silver needles point to silver marks on a white background (yeech) while digital green readouts appear elsewhere. The Limited model adds an un-classy digital clock to compete with the one in the radio, and the acres of cream leather only add to the mess. It all looks a bit geeky and disjointed, like a guy decked out in a HyperColor shirt, khakis, black socks, and slippers. Get me out of here!
There are also touches of cheapness, like the center console that closes with a loud, hollow click. Aside from the high-quality steering wheel, the leather surfaces lean toward vinyl and the plastic surfaces toward Tupperware. I disliked the way the average-sounding stereo's volume builds with bar graphs (and not linearly) and the way the steering wheel controls can't scroll through radio presets. A great feature for short drivers is the Limited's power-adjustable pedals; if the steering wheel telescoped, it would be perfect. Other pluses: the automatic climate controls are easier to use than on some cars, the shifter and cupholders feel sturdy, every button presses down firmly, the extra dashboard compartment is a nice touch, and the console has a ton of room.
Room - that's why you're reading about this car, isn't it? Yeah, the Five Hundred's got plenty of that. This car is a lot longer, wider, and taller than average, and it doesn't waste an inch of the added girth. With a back seat only one cubic foot shy of the fronts, every seat is the best seat in the house. Their flat-as-a-board shape doesn't support hard driving, but they do support your backside pretty agreeably. The adjustable seat belts (in front) and head restraints help, and there are rear air vents. For five-passenger comfort, Ford's Five Hundred eats Chrysler's 300 for lunch.
And when Ford boasts of how easily it fits five, you have to wonder what part of the car they're talking about, because the Five Hundred's trunk runs deeper than Baghdad's oil reserves. The number is 21.2 cubic feet, giving the Five Hundred the biggest trunk of any sedan sold in America! The front passenger seat folds forward, too. Just don't expect a flat load floor when folding down the back.
The first of the Five Hundred's three trims, the SE, starts at only $22,795. For that reasonable sum you get traction control, antilock brakes, cruise control, power driver's seat, power everything else, keyless and keypad entry, CD player, and 17-inch alloy wheels. For $2,000 more, the $24,795 SEL adds dual-zone climate controls, leather steering wheel with radio controls and leather shift knob, 8-way power driver's seat, fold-flat passenger seat, 6-disc MP3 changer, trip computer with message center, wood trim, rear air vents, automatic mirror and headlights, and fog lights. And for a final extra $2,125, the $26,920 Limited adds heated leather seats, power passenger seat, seat-and-mirror memory, Audiophile sound system, analog clock, 18-inch wheels, and a bright-colored grille. Side air bags, adjustable pedals, and a reverse-sensing system are some of the more useful options. It's a shame that side air bags aren't standard, but the Five Hundred earned five-star crash test ratings for front and side impacts. Ah, the perks of Volvo DNA.
Any trim is available in front- or all-wheel-drive, but Ford's transmission pairings are strange. Both SE models come only with a Continuously Variable Transmission. On the SEL and Limited, the AWD versions also get CVTs while the front-drivers get 6-speed automatics. Are they implying a 6-speed is more upscale than a CVT? In case you care, you can't get the combination of front-drive and CVT on the identical Mercury Montego.
If there's one number on the Five Hundred sheet that isn't way out there, it's price. Look through those numbers again; they are stellar for an EPA "large" car. Even the Kia Amanti costs $26,140, the Toyota Avalon just under 27 grand, and the Chrysler 300 Touring just over it. At Buick, the LaCrosse is too small so you'll have to start with the LeSabre, which is $27,450. Pontiac's even worse, with its Bonneville (dead as of summer 2005) starting at $28,690. Want to know how much interior space the Five Hundred has? More than the Audi A8 L, more than the BMW 750iL, and more than the Mercedes S600 - those would be the extended-wheelbase versions - that's how much. If you want more space in a sedan, let's hope you have $327,750 lying around and a nearby Maybach dealer.
It's not perfect, but take "bang for the buck" to mean cubic foot for the buck, and there's no beating the Ford Five Hundred.
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